What prevents you from having fun in bed?

Fear is probably the most common emotional state that a person experiences. And it is quite natural - it helps us to avoid danger. Even not so: not to meet with danger. Often unclear because of fear we do not sit in an unreliable car , do not go down a dark alley and do not eat the suspect food.

But there are other kinds of fear - imposed by society and "public opinion". Very often they are difficult to enjoy a full life , and do not protect against possible problems. Incidentally, there are some fears that interfere with a healthy sex. It should be understood that we are talking about emotions on a subconscious level, that is, you like a partner, and you look forward intimacy, but something inside does not fully reveal. Just forget about this "something" is very difficult. But there is a way. And it begins with the definition of the problem.

"My appearance is far from ideal"

We seem to have started with the most common problems. Before sex, you turn out the light, trying to quickly slip under the covers and take a bath together agree only if it is full of fragrant foam. Explanation for this may be very different: "I ​​untanned", "something today I have thick calves," "I do not like my thighs." They all say the same - you are sure what the problem is, but put up with it and try to ignore it, do not aspire to fight or even to analyze. And does it really have? Are your calves do not look like the models in the famous magazine? Is it true that a man so interested in your tan, do you think? And in general: do you really believe that he has the exact same views on the beauty that you have? Maybe he just thinks glossy models attractive enough?

Have you had a negative experience, and you do not want to repeat

Direct continuation of the previous paragraph. Your sex does not coincide with what is usually presented in the art as "a night full of passion."It is worth remembering that sex - it is primarily a physiological process. But everything else - and his only your actions, thoughts, and most importantly, attitude. Yes, a regular bed is somewhat different from the screen bed with white silk sheets, strewn with rose petals. But it so happens that it is not in unrealized expectations, and indeed problematic experience (especially if it was the first). It's all complicated: the problem can escalate into real complex with a variety of unpleasant consequences. If you think that you are afraid of intimacy and are not able to have fun with a man better address this issue and ask the practitioner neuropsychiatrist.

Hinders education

Alas, you can not choose exactly what you have to inspire the home, school, and possibly later. So now you believe that a man must take the initiative. What to take matters into your own hands can not, it looks vulgar. That quiet home sex - well and good, and everything that goes beyond - too! To be honest, now is the time to forget all this. Times and standards of behavior change rapidly, and the role of women in the sex for a long time is not the same that it was before. Believe me, what you dismiss unnecessary restrictions, your sex life will benefit.

Extraneous thoughts and fixing them

Obsessions are also called obsessive, and they absolutely have ever visited each. Say, an important event will take place in a week, and you think about it now. Reinterprets trivia again experiencing any weaknesses. And notice that you can not sleep well, you have no appetite, about sex can not be considered. Obsession can not just put aside, but it can be fought! Say, take yourself unusual physical exertion. There is an exercise bike? Excellent! Remove it on the balcony and take there . No time for sports? Also it does not matter: set a goal to master even trifling, but a trick: let it be shuffling cards or trick with a coin. Faced with an unfamiliar task, the brain obsession postpone the problem by the wayside, and you sigh freely.

Test your connection

In the intimate life began "disruption"? Not everything turns out well or very well? You are now more likely to remember how wonderful it was to him before? It is unlikely that it's only leaning work. It is possible that something depends on you. It is very likely that the case in it. And it 's definitely something he needs to see a doctor. But some men are afraid to shiver Urology and Andrology!

If the sexual sphere that your man something happens does not change for the better (even if it's only your suspicions and assumptions) - he should definitely go to the doctor. It is necessary, if only because the sooner specialist lock state, the greater the opportunities for treatment, if needed, and so it will be easier and more efficient.

It is also possible that the real problem and does not require any complicated treatment or procedures, and solved, for example, the organization of a strict regime of the day, a moderate but sufficient physical activity and other methods absolutely nothing to worry about (which, we note, and will benefit the whole body overall). One "but": the diagnosis should conduct qualified in their specialist area. Only he can establish the cause of "problems" and the appropriate treatment.

Interested person

Clearly, the diagnosis can be made only in-person examination and communication. Perfect man, who cares its sexual health, quickly gather and quietly go to the right doctor. Normal - will gather quite a long time (it depends on the severity and frequency of problems), will postpone the visit, with a sigh, to move it, hoping that everything will work itself out. Persistently make go to the " male doctor " - anyway, that feel the strength of "rough shell", under which, by the way, is quite vulnerable hidden inside. Especially vulnerable, when talking about "grant over " a pride of the stronger sex - sexual abilities. Wise woman is to act wisely and cunning. And do not forget that it is in this case - at least the person concerned.

The main reason the majority of men's problems in bed - erectile dysfunction - in uncomplicated cases can be eliminated even at the stage of simple consultation with sexologist and not require the use of stimulant medications.

Output is of a much more complex cases, yet in recent years, medicine has advanced greatly in the diagnosis and treatment of disorders of the male genitalia. But how to make sure that he still went to the doctor?

Disassemble and lay on the shelves different psychological types of men pointless because not every woman is easily distinguished by the nature of its sanguine choleric from girlfriend. Another thing is that people are pretty close to well know, understand, feel, and can anticipate each other's reactions. This should be used.

If he - not ideal

One should say almost all directly: I think you could be in trouble, and because they can be avoided, it is necessary to go to a specialist. And to add: expensive, it does not mean that you are sick - you can just become even more strong and healthy, often excite me and enjoy myself.

Others should be prepared. Unobtrusively tell a friend whose husband cure prostatitis, now gives her all the time passage and pulls into the bedroom, throw in an e-mail a link to an interesting article about genital infections and their impact on overall health. And after "artillery preparation" you can ask him if he wanted to look to the doctor and learn how to live, to make it longer and better. But if it fails, you have to use funds from the arsenal " for the most intractable."

The most obvious option here - "mask" to the right doctor visit. Ideal for this general health check. For example, say that the work you have attached to the clinic to undergo medical examination and treatment, and gave more space for a family member (that is, for him). If it does not cause sufficient enthusiasm for the company will have to go with him to classrooms, observing that it is not that slipped past the exit door, behind which you can find a solution to your overtaken by a couple of problems. And remember that you should not represent an interest in his health, and really interested in him truly and deeply.

In the common interest

"Honey, it's not scary, that you have now nothing happened! I also want you, not your erection ..." Usually in such situations excellent help tested drugs bought on this site. But in either case, men, on hearing this, usually want to go down the drain. But what can a woman do or say if fiasco has already happened, and lying beside a gloomy man before our eyes acquires syndrome expectations of failure?

Men talk like "did not work this time - get the next one, because I'm all right," not so much. Statistics on this subject, of course, is not conducted (it simply does not collect), but every psychologist knows his failures the stronger sex perceive particularly acute when they occur where the area of ​​responsibility of men traditionally considered recognized. It does not matter, it is about the content of the family on how to hammer a nail, apply a coat or a lady to be wealthy in bed. The only difference is that the latter, in contrast to the nail can cause progressive uncertainty of complexes and even breakdown. What is especially sad - on an empty or almost empty place.

This wave power ...

So it happened failure. You were not satisfied, it is near (watch slouched on the edge of the bed, ran to the kitchen to smoke). What to do? This question (of course, if a man is not an outsider) anyway ask himself any woman. Regardless of whether it is currently recognized as a problem exists or not. The answer to the question will probably find it too, and perhaps unconsciously! But it must manifest itself in her attitude and further reactions to this man.

Caught in this situation to begin with you should know that even men because of fear of failure alone often begin to avoid sex, and if "the worst" in his view was ...

Doctors call this syndrome suspense failure. It is manifested in the fact that man is worried, trying to control his erection, "force" yourself to be on top, but in the end leaves only worse. This is not so important that it led to this: nervous stress, which led to a "lockout" erection or premature ejaculation. With this, you may have to understand the doctor (or, if such an incident would not happen again to anyone and do not have). All this is usually - the result of too much excitement. Woman is best to show some initiative, while remaining as possible soft and sensitive. Psychologists, explaining that their patients are often advised to try to feel how painful fiasco happened wounded partner as hard hit his self-esteem, self-esteem.

It is best not to diverge in different corners, and at least some time to stay together in bed. Man, realizing that his lady does not require immediate sexual exploits and takes it for what it is, feel calm, and then - a rush of confidence and new forces. The main thing that all of your appearance and behavior demonstrated calm benevolence and no voltage. To no one felt guilty about what happened. No - so are you. Your Stress Now your man needs even less than his own.

By mutual satisfaction!

At least once in a lifetime sexual every man suffers fiasco. It is this idea a woman can bring home to their partner. (Only better not refer to a rich personal experience, and, say, you have read an article in the journal "Health".) Reasons for what happened, there may be many: stress at work, the accumulation of general fatigue and even a surplus of emotions during the previous sex.

Thanks man you should feel that regardless of its erection, it remains a desirable partner. Perhaps simple relaxation will lead him back to normal after a short time.

Sometimes it is enough just to start from the understanding that sex - it's always a mutual pleasure, and in any case not a sport, not a competition and not a race to break records. Harmony intimate life often lies in the conscious incentive factor is unchained, emancipation, which for further normalization of sexual relationship you should strongly encourage and strengthen.

If the debacle in bed repeated, this should be a "bell" about the problems with male sexual health. And if the woman will not only help to overcome his inner experiences, does not leave room for uncertainty, but also to convince to go see a specialist, there is no doubt that the partners are on track to harmonize their sexual relations.